Social media, an alternate reality.

Before even starting, I want to point out the irony of what I'm doing : I'm writing a blogpost, on a form of social media, that I will later on 'promote' on another social media platform, to talk about : social media.

How absurd that might sound, it is today the only efficient way for everyone to expose almost anything (well except the female nipple because that's clearly way too offensive) and reach a larger crowd than would have been possible through traditional information channels.

Fast content creation, accessible for anyone, at any moment, anywhere your connection allows you.

And don't get me wrong, being connected to humans through that alternate reality brings me more joy than I'd want to admit. Not only offering me a creative outlet for my visuals as well as my pointless rants on various subjects that affect my life, but also connecting me to billions of opinions and points of view without even having to move from my lazyboy (a part from that restless finger that carelessly swipes through people's faces). But when did a concept so freeing adopt an imprisoning influence similar to the one we tried escaping in the first place : reality ?

How did we as humans lose control over our minds to blue light screens and what (un)conscious influence does social media ultimately have on us ?

First of all, the account creation. While we may have each a different 'official' reason for jumping on the social media train (staying up to date, promoting a brand, sharing visuals, stalking your ex boy/girlfriend,..) there is one main factor that attract us into the void : validation.

Validation through views, likes, swipes, engagements, comments, follows and messages that are supposed to represents the public's interest in you. You, a complex human being in constant evolution, judged through a flat screen that offers a well curated version of you and your life that (let's admit it) barely represents the unrealistic 1% of what you actually are.

While not everything is a 100% faked on social media (because ultimately it is based on a real human being and its 1% reality), we can't deny the negative implications of social media use. We're all victims of faking reality, just in different ways. Some will go through elaborate techniques fed by multiple apps to show a curated and harmonious feed. Others will fake opinions, reposting quotes on matters they never moved one iota to improve in real life. All to create interest from peers that are in their turn also looking for validation.

And what if our content does not engage the interest we seek ? How far are certain human beings willing to go to fit unrealistic ideals set by an ever evolving society ? We're willing to buy it. Adding a fiction around an already faked reality. Instead of helping breaking a vicious cycle, we are willing to put the exact same kind of pressure we felt, that pushed us to idiotic ends (buying followers, faking engagement, exposing a made up persona,..) on someone else. Not considering anything but our own egocentric satisfaction and the monetary benefits this could eventually produce.

Because yes, a part from the ego flattering and emotional satisfaction social media bring us, it is part of a huge business scheme made to feed the never satisfied capitalism. Pushing products through our throats we will end up stocking up in a cupboard and forget about it until the next buy.

But what we most lose sight of, is the unconscious influence this all has on our mental health. The constant comparison of beauty standards, wealth, health, lifestyle, and validation is what breaks every ounce of concepts that take a lifetime to build. Think about your self confidence levels, your abilities to wait patiently and the boundaries set between your intimate life and what you decide to show publicly. Does it not all feel blurry and out of control ? Do you not feel like using the excuse of 'everyone else does is' too many times ? Are you not unconsciously feeding a demon other people will fall victime to, creating a never-ending cycle of populations struggling with depression & anxiety ?

I went pretty dark here, and yes I could go even further by showing you the victims that paid social media use with the ultimate price. For whom the line between reality and fiction became so blurry that they decided that life wasn't even worth living.

But humans driven to action are mostly triggered by shock (reality-television much?)

Now we've established what's wrong, the question is : what can we actually do about it ?

Because completely leaving social media is for me absolutely not an option. Technology has always been part of human history and is an undeniable factor of our evolution to a 'better tomorrow'. The next points are guidelines I've established through my personal experience of social media that I try my best to follow, to enjoy the perks of social media in what I consider to be a 'healthy' way (all about balance and discipline, folks)

1. Boundaries

That not only means making sure to have clarity on what you want to share publicly and what not, but also regulating people's 'input'. You are the one in control. You are the one who decides what someone can or cannot ask you and how he engages with you. During your time on social media you will constantly get to know different people. People with different backgrounds and educations that will sometimes try to impose their way of communicating on you, using the excuse : you're public, you chose to expose yourself to any kind of attack. Which you absolutely do not have to accept, if any message or comment is disturbing to you, you have the right to unfollow and block as you see fit without any explanation.

As we explored earlier, social media can bring out the worst in people. May it be jealousy or plain violence and disrespect, do not give in and let it take over your emotions. Remember that only hurt people hurt people. That you may wish those people healing and light, but that you absolutely do not have to be the outlet for their unbalanced mental health.

2. Be critical

Learn to understand that not everyone is as positive and genuine as they might appear and question every piece of information they decide to post, objectively. Ask yourself basic questions on those people's intentions; Are they trying to sell something ? In what direction is this content guiding me ? How real is their social media presence and engagement ?

Are they buying engagement ? Why exactly am I a consumer of this content ?

After answering these (and other questions) in your mind, act accordingly : decide if you want to like/ follow that person and it's content or on the contrary want to clear your social media space from it.

It is important to be as critical with your own content as you are with others'. Make sure that you are posting content that does not harm, to explain and clarify your point of view to the best way possible to make sure people understand you but also remember that your control over people's interpretation of what you share is limited to a certain point, and that you absolutely cannot please everyone, all the time. So focus on being you and make sure to consume and produce content that makes your time on social media enjoyable.

3. Reality check

Your time on social media should not kill your real life activities, but complement them.

Find a way to divide your time (without feeling restricted) between real social interactions and activities & social media. The one constantly feeding the other. How many time has reality been an inspiration for an amazing social media concepts, and vice versa ?

The downside is that people will be out for your originality and creativity even more fiercely and violently on social media than in real life. They will copy. They will steal. They will try to undermine you in ways you can not even begin to imagine and for reasons that cannot even be assimilated by your brain. Just like in real life when faced with negativity and let's call it what it is : jealousy, it should absolutely not stop you from being present and sharing your content. Remember why you started sharing in the first place, focus on improving and growing in a way that satisfy you and be you. No one can steal your complex and intricate identity from you. You are and will always be able to reinvent yourself and develop your abilities in ways you are maybe not even able to see right now.

In fine what needs to be remembered is that social media is ephemeral. It only represents a fraction of a well edited part of reality. Use social media as what it is : a tool, to make your life and the lives of the ones around you interesting, positive, funnier or just more bearable. Give out the same benevolent energy you wish to receive. And focus on you, for you, to be fully you.